You’ve connected with a beautiful Colombian woman online, and now you’re ready for the all-important first date. You’re charming, respectful, and excited. But in Colombia, a successful relationship isn’t just about what you do—it’s about navigating a complex set of cultural expectations that can easily confuse a Western man.
Colombian dating culture is passionate, traditional, and family-oriented, but it has unwritten rules. Making one of these cultural mistakes could end a promising relationship before it even begins. This definitive guide will help you navigate your first meeting and the relationship that follows, ensuring you make an impression that lasts a lifetime.
Table of Contents
- 1. Misunderstanding “Colombian Time”
- 2. Splitting the Bill (The “Chichipato” Mistake)
- 3. Ignoring Financial Expectations (The “ATM” Mistake)
- 4. Being Too Direct or “Boring”
- 5. Failing at Communication (Language & PDA)
- 6. Ignoring the Age Gap
- 7. Expecting a “Trad Wife”
- 8. Bringing Up “Narcos”
- 9. Underestimating Her Family
- 10. Expecting a First-Night Hookup
- First Date Do’s and Don’ts
- Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
1. Mistake: Expecting Punctuality (“Colombian Time”)
In the West, if your date is 30 minutes late, it’s a sign of disrespect. In Colombia, it’s normal. Colombian culture has a much more relaxed concept of time, often called “Colombian Time.” It is extremely common for a woman to be 30, 60, or even 90 minutes late for a social engagement. The phrase “ahorita” can mean “right now” or “in two hours.”
What to do: Be patient and don’t take it personally. She is not trying to be rude; it’s just a different cultural rhythm. Bring a book, enjoy a drink, and be prepared to be flexible. Getting angry will only make you look impatient.
2. Mistake: Splitting the Bill (The “Chichipato” Mistake)
This is a non-negotiable, major mistake. In Colombian dating culture, chivalry is alive and well, and the man is always expected to pay the bill. Even if your date is a modern, independent woman who offers to pay, you should politely but firmly insist.
If you try to “go Dutch,” you will be seen as a “Chichipato” (a cheapskate), and you will almost certainly not get a second date. Paying is a sign of your stability and your intentions as a provider.
3. Mistake: Ignoring Financial Expectations (The “ATM” Mistake)
This goes beyond just paying for the date. As the “rich foreigner” (which you are, in her eyes, regardless of your actual income), you will be expected to be the provider. This may include paying for her transportation to the date or even her childcare if she has kids.
It is a cultural difference that you must be aware of. It’s common in Colombia to ask for financial help or loans from those who have more. You MUST establish your limits early on. Be generous, but do not be afraid to politely say “no” to unreasonable requests. If you don’t, you will quickly be seen as an ATM, not a partner.
4. Mistake: Being Too Direct or “Boring”
Western dating can be very direct: “I like you, I want to go on a date.” In Colombia, dating is a “game” that’s all about flirting, playfulness, and building tension. Being *too* direct and showing all your interest at once can be a turn-off. You need to be confident and flirtatious. Use humor, compliments, and strong body language.
Be a leader. Colombians value initiative. Don’t say, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” Take the lead, have a plan for the date (even if it’s just a walk in the mall to get coffee), and make the decisions. This confidence is very attractive.
5. Mistake: Failing at Communication (Language & PDA)
If you need to use Google Translate for every sentence, your relationship is doomed. Communication is the bedrock of a relationship. You MUST be willing to learn Spanish, and she should be willing to learn English. Cultural cues and nuances get lost in an app.
Part of this communication is physical. Colombian culture is very expressive, and public displays of affection (PDA) are common. If you are not a fan of PDA, you need to communicate this gently, as your partner may feel insulted or think you are cold and uncaring if you pull away in public.
6. Mistake: Ignoring the Age Gap
It is common for Western men to seek younger women, but you must be realistic. If you are 40 and dating a 19-year-old, you will get judgmental looks. The “Half-Plus-Seven” rule (don’t date anyone younger than half your age plus seven years) is a good guideline. A 40-year-old dating a 27-year-old is normal; a 40-year-old dating a 20-year-old will have a massive generational gap that makes finding common ground very difficult.
7. Mistake: Expecting a “Trad Wife”
Many men come to Colombia looking for a submissive, non-opinionated, “traditional wife.” This is a fantasy, especially in a modern city like Medellin. If you want a submissive woman, Latinas are not for you. Colombian women are strong, opinionated, and full of life. They are looking for a partner, not a boss.
8. Mistake: Bringing Up “Narcos”
This is the fastest way to end a date. Do not make jokes about it. Do not mention Pablo Escobar. Do not ask about the Netflix show. Colombians are proud of their beautiful country and are tired of being defined by this one dark period. Keep the conversation positive.
9. Mistake: Underestimating Her Family
Family is the absolute center of Colombian culture. Unlike in the West, where you might date for six months before meeting the parents, a Colombian woman may invite you to meet her family after only a few weeks. This is a test. It’s a strong sign she is serious about you. You must show deep respect, especially to her mother.
10. Mistake: Expecting a First-Night Hookup
Despite what you may have heard, “hookup culture” is not the norm in Colombia, especially for women who are serious about finding a husband. There is a perception that foreign men are only in Colombia for partying and sex. A genuine woman will not want to be seen as a “slut or a whore.” Expecting sex on the first date is a huge mistake. Be a gentleman. If you are patient and respectful, you will win her over for the long term.
First Date Do’s and Don’ts
A group of Colombian women shared their top complaints about first dates with foreigners. Here are the simple things that make a huge difference.
DO:
- Be clean and smell good. Brush your teeth and wear a nice cologne.
- Wear neat, clean, and well-fitted clothes.
- Wear clean shoes. You will be judged for this.
- Make an effort to speak Spanish. Even trying badly is better than not trying at all.
DON’T:
- Make every conversation about sex.
- Sit on your phone the whole time. Be present.
- Brag about your sexual conquests or how much money you make.
- Make the date all about you. Ask her questions.
- Badmouth Colombia, the city, or the people.
Ready to Meet Your Colombian Match?
Now that you know the cultural rules, you’re ready to start your journey. Explore our showcase of genuine, marriage-minded Latin women who are waiting to connect with someone just like you.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Is chivalry (like opening doors) really that important?
Yes. Chivalry is not just appreciated; it’s expected. Opening car doors, pulling out her chair, and paying for the entire date are standard signs of a respectful and well-mannered man.
What about public displays of affection (PDA)?
Colombian culture is very affectionate. Public affection like holding hands, hugging, and kissing is much more common and accepted than in many Western countries. Match her energy; if she’s affectionate, it’s a good sign.
She invited me to meet her family after just two weeks. Isn’t that too soon?
No. In Colombia, this is a very normal and positive sign. It means she is serious about you and wants to see if you fit in with her family, who are the most important people in her life.
She’s always on her phone, even on our date. Is she rude?
This is a common cultural difference. Colombians are extremely social, and being “attentive” to friends and family via text is part of their culture. It’s usually not a sign of disinterest, but it’s okay to politely ask for her full attention if it bothers you.
Do I need to speak Spanish?
It helps more than anything else. Only about 4% of Colombians speak English fluently. Trying to learn Spanish, even just a few simple phrases, shows immense respect and effort. It will make you stand out from every other foreigner.
She plays “hard to get.” Is she not interested?
She is likely *very* interested. Colombian men are known for “the chase,” so Colombian women expect the man to be determined. By being a bit elusive and not showing all her interest at once, she is participating in the cultural “game” of flirting and building attraction.
Is it true I have to ask her “officially” to be my girlfriend?
Yes. In Colombia, dating is more formal. You are not an “official” couple just because you’ve been on a few dates. You will typically need to formally ask her, “Quieres ser mi novia?” (Will you be my girlfriend?) to define the relationship.
How do I avoid gold diggers or scams?
A genuine Colombian woman is interested in your stability, not your wallet. Be wary of any woman who asks for money, for any reason (e.g., a “sick granny” or a “broken phone”). A real partner will never ask you for money.
What’s the best way to meet Colombian women if I’m not in Colombia?
The best way is to use a reputable international dating site that specializes in Latin women. This allows you to meet genuine, marriage-minded women safely. After you build a connection, you can plan a trip to meet her in person.
What about a Romance Tour?
A Romance Tour is an excellent option for men who are serious about marriage. These tours, run by agencies like A Foreign Affair, take you to Colombia and arrange “Social” events where you can meet hundreds of pre-screened, verified women in person.